17 5 / 2013
I’m sorry I need a really hot Korea guy in my life. Long hair and perfect nose and smile and tall. you know? idol type.?
I don’t like the way FuckNoFetishization put it, but I really hope that you can understand exactly how offensive it is, and why “I’m just attracted to a certain ethnicity” is dehumanizing and not okay.
I am on the butt end of comments like this monthly, and they all say the same thing- “It’s not racist, I’m just attracted to your race/ethnicity/culture/country.” What about my race is attractive to you, and how is it not racist to assume everyone of my ethnicity has that trait? There is ONE trait that 99.99% of my ethnicity has: black hair, and even that’s a stretch. What about my culture is attractive to you? The traditional dance, the food, TV shows, the emphasis on politeness. And therefore you define me, my person, my identity as “traditional dance, food, and TV shows.” I don’t know how that can’t be offensive. It’s like saying “Oh, I am so attracted to American Culture- I *love* Gossip Girl and I really identify with it, oh you Americans!!”
You are not attracted to me or my ethnicity- you are treating me and my identity like a consumable commodity, the same way people like brand names, purses, certain genres.
I was tabling for dance club, and a man walked up to the co-president and straight-up said to her, “I really need a Korean girl in my life.”
Ignoring the fact that that the girl in question was Chinese and happily taken, How is this not offensive? If he had stood in the middle of the street and yelled it to everyone, would it have been any less offensive?
It is very offensive, very rude, and very racist.
I was helping a stroke patient cut his food, and across the room, someone calls me over and says he likes how polite I am, and how “Oriental girls remember how to be women,” and proceeded to enumerate the qualities that made us so “charming.” Funnily enough, he mentioned my ‘long hair, sweet eyes, and small hands,’ much like you did.
It’s really not from difference from what you’re doing.
14 5 / 2013
07 5 / 2013
Uh-oh! Your roommate is exhibiting all the classical symptoms of a condition called Introversion! There’s only one known cure…
Accept that you two are different and that people can experience and interact with the world in very different ways from each other. It totally blew my mind when I realized that not everyone thinks exactly like me.
You can’t read her because you don’t understand the kind of person she is.
1) She likes you. It’s just that she prefers time to herself and when she comes back at the end of the day, she’s tired from interacting with people all day and needs her “me-time” to recharge. She’s not shy or anxious; she’s one of those people who seems energetic and social, but really being so social takes a LOT of energy from her. She has a very different way of showing that she likes someone- she probably shows it through doing little favors here and there, rather than saying outright. If you can’t accept that she’s sorry you can’t understand, but that’s not her problem. Also, she’s not very social so even if she likes you she doesn’t hang out with you. If she occasionally mentions things here and there, it already means she likes you, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to understand the approach of a me-time person.
2) Her idea of a fun time is sitting back and relaxing from her overwork load, sipping tea and drawing, reading, or composing music (stuff she rarely has time to do), not hanging out and chatting or going out. For her, that’s WORK. It’s not that she dislikes you; it’s because she prefers to do activities by herself, and she’s constantly thinking about a lot of stuff, so she seems quiet or unresponsive. The entire day, she has to put on her very best face for people, especially on her job and volunteer shifts, and she likes to but it takes a lot of energy. She doesn’t like going out and hanging out and ‘having a good time-’ she would highly prefer to sit by herself, lost in her own thoughts about her own business. That’s another reason she dislikes being interrupted when deep in thought or concentrating- the way her mind works, she’s building up towers made out of numbers in her head and if she’s interrupted they tumble down and she has to start from scratch again.
3) She has lots of friends she’s met at UCSD, just that she doesn’t broadcast news about them everyday, the same way she doesn’t like to broadcast much about her life. In fact, perhaps even three of her closest friends right now she met in DOC and CHEM6H. She’s probably a worker at a laboratory and hangs out with her labmates, or she’s an officer in a student org and loves to sit around with them. Just because she doesn’t mention people doesn’t mean they don’t exist. She probably actually hangs out with them quite a bit, but she doesn’t feel the need to share her everyday life. Some people keep things to themselves, others deal with things by talking them through and sharing with someone else. There’s nothing wrong or bad about either way. Believe it or not, you might not know everything about her- and she prefers to keep it that way.
4) Returning home often is not a sign of immaturity of lack of preparedness for the real world. It doesn’t occur to you that she might have local friends and family members she likes to spend time with? Or that maybe, just maybe, there are people she is responsible for that she has to *take care of* and check up on in person? She doesn’t tell you a lot of things- but that’s not a blank check to assume anything you want. Also, if she’s a local, likely she has loved ones who live in the area- not just family but friends.
5) Don’t be offended if she doesn’t talk to you about stuff or share her experiences/problems. It’s because she’s not a talky person, and that’s not how she deals with life. It’s not that you can’t read her easily, it’s just that she takes life and interpersonal interactions very differently from you. She goes about things a different way, and some of the things she does may seem odd to you- just like yours seem odd to her. I think both of you should understand that and respect each other’s differences. She doesn’t tell you to leave her alone even when she wants to be left alone, you don’t tell her to tell you about herself even if you want her to.
6) btw she probably has a double life as a model or a burlesque performer, under a fake name. It’s not a part of her life she wants to share.
06 5 / 2013
- Since I was a kid, I’ve rarely made eye contact with people. I don’t look anyone straight in the eyes. Instead I look more around their noses and eyebrows, and it looks like I’m making eye contact when I’m not.
- I get very strong cravings for fruit, especially citrus fruit, at night.
- When I eat something, I like to read about it first/while eating it.